Say What?

11 Apr

Matty Moments

I love this age.  Well, I don’t love the tantrums, the reemergence of separation anxiety, and the lack of sleep, but oh man is this kid funny!  So in an effort to remember it all, I introduce “Matty Moments.”

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Trying to talk Matty into getting into the stroller for a walk:

Me: Come on, buddy, let’s go for a walk!
Matty: No!
Me: Yeah, come on. Mommy needs to take a walk. I’ve  got a fat butt.
Matty: (giggles and slaps my butt) Fat butt. Fat butt. Fat butt.

I wish life had a rewind button.

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At Hobby Lobby, when Matty spots the craft pom poms:

Matty: Ahhhhhhh (imagine a war cry) picks up a pack of 500
Matty: For keet, for keet!
Me: Oh, does Kitty need new balls? (I only hope no one overheard this conversation…)
Matty: Yeah! (puts it in cart) proceeds to put 3 more packs in the cart before I can stop him
Me: No, we don’t need that many balls.
Matty: (Slowly puts another pack in the cart while eyeing me.) In a completely dead-pan serious voice: For keet.

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Eric walks in the door from work…door isn’t even closed yet.

Matty: Pop Pop! Pop Pop! Calk to Pop Pop! (Grandpa! Grandpa! Talk to Grandpa!)
Short pause…
Matty: Choc choc. (Chocolate) Choc choc. Daddy Pop Pop. Calk. Choc.
Eric: (Closes door) It’s good to see you too, Buddy.

Matty cries for Eric all day.  So really, he’s crying for Grandpa and chocolate.  Not sure of the connection there yet…hmmm…:)

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It’s never a good sign when your toddler comes in the room with that look.  If you’re a parent, you know what I’m talking about.  If you’re not a parent, fear not, you’ll learn it  quickly.  All I got was that look and a “belp” (help).

Apparently someone wanted a snack.

I acted falsely outraged at the mess.  He was genuinely upset about the mess.  I asked, “what are we going to do about this big mess?”

He:

1. Closed the door to hide the mess, clapping for himself.

2. When he realized the mess was still showing, he looked so sad. Ha. He stopped clapping, thought for a moment, then bent down and began stuffing the cereal back under the door, chanting, “good job”.

3. When that didn’t work, he proudly announced his next plan, “Mommy mop.”

Yep, that about sums it up.

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Speaking of mopping…

Matty walks over to the cat food tray and water dish.  Picks it up, and throws it across the room.

Me: What the $%#& are you doing?!
Matty: MOP!!!

To his credit, he did clean most of it up.  There may have a been a strong-worded discussion, and thankfully, no repeated performance.

NOTE: I know it appears that my child never wears pants, and…well, that’s pretty much true.  Pants are worthless.

One Response to “Say What?”

  1. ahealthyhappyhome April 12, 2013 at 6:12 pm #

    Oh hilarious and I can so relate! Toddlerisms are too funny and just keep getting better!

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